Clerks

Admission: I didn’t pay a lot of attention to this movie. It is quite slow and completely driven by dialogue from an almost entirely drug-using, male cast; it was hard for me to relate much as a drug-free female. There were moments where I felt for the plight of the retail worker, but mostly I thought “glad I’m not this guy”. Plot, from what I could tell, read like this: guy gets called into work on his day off and then life sucks, sometimes because it’s life and sometimes because he makes it suck. And Kevin Smith doesn’t talk much.

Wristcutters: A Love Story

What if Hell is just like the world we already live in, but worse? That is the concept behind Wristcutters – everyone who ends their life ends up in Hell together which is surprisingly similar to the world they just left. Zia, a young guy who decides to off himself because his girlfriend dumped him, meets a girl and struggles with his feelings for both his ex and this new dead chick. Overall, it’s an interesting concept but pretty depressing when you realize every person hated their life so much they decided suicide was a fabulous idea. Happy, happy, joy, joy.

Me and Orson Welles

I’ll admit, at first I was slightly ashamed to watch a movie with Zac Efron, but I gave it a try anyway. The movie is about a young actor who earns a part in Orson Welles’ production of Julius Caesar. To me, the best parts of the film were Christian McKay’s performance as prick director/actor, Welles, and the interpretation of Shakespeare’s work. In fact, I could have done with just seeing Welles’ 94 minute production of Caesar and skipped the plot entirely. Alas, the mediocre story was there and, when coupled with Zac Efron, resulted in only an okay film.

The Four-Faced Liar

Boy and girl move to NYC and live together. They’re anal-retentive and grossly perfect at times. Let’s call them Greg and Molly. Greg and Molly go to a bar and happen to meet another guy and two girls (not as exciting as it sounds, boys). This time, the boy (James) is dating Chloe and they seem to be less perfect and a bit more real. The other girl, Bridgette, is a lesbian and immediately has a crush on Molly. Shit ensues and we find out whether your relationship is perfect or real, it can all come crashing down. The end.

2012

Apparently the Mayans were right - the sun is going to take us out on 12-21-2012. Enter John Cusack and his family – the world starts crumbling and, despite all odds, they survive all sorts of crazy shit. You’ve only had two flying lessons? Sure you can dodge fire rocks shooting from the sky! You’ve been abandoned in China? A monk will give you a car ride and help save your life! If you want to be entertained by the destruction of practically the whole of humanity and suspend belief about what people can survive, this is the movie for you.

Super 8

A rag-tag group of boys is working on a zombie movie when, all of a sudden, they accidentally witness something they shouldn’t have – a massive train wreck. The next hour and a half is spent trying to understand what happened and help save first the girl, then the town from a Cloverfield-esque monster. Also, there are strained parent-child relationships and teenage friendships and love. Pretty much if you took two parts Goonies and one part Cloverfield, the resulting movie would be Super 8. Also, here’s a tip: the reasoning for the title is revealed during the credits, so don’t leave.

Reservoir Dogs

Have you seen a Quentin Tarantino movie before? If the answer if “yes”, then you probably don’t have to see this movie. There’s a gratuitous amount of profanity, blood and guys in suits, so pretty much like Pulp Fiction minus women and Samuel L. Jackson. Now, if you want an idea of the plot, here it goes – a bunch of guys are trying to steal some diamonds but the police show up and now the boys are trying to decide which of them is the mole. So, if you want a movie full of dialogue and blood – watch Reservoir Dogs!